One piece, or two?

She sells seashells by the sea shore — what a great job. She must have a great tan, depends on what she wears. Suma beach … oh lord, must buy new swimwear. If only there were a guide!

Here it is. Not a guide on getting in shape, everybody knows that requires sweating, not eating, and smoking. Nor on getting a tan, which is as simple as baking yourself. This story will instead provide pointers, without pointing or laughing, for the cossie-challenged. There are tens of pictures, ones of experts, and a handful of handpicked models. But most importantly, there're plenty of honest opinions.

Let's get a not-so-straight-shooting photographer to tell us how to be an attractive man on the beach. Enter Edwin Cheung.

Q: How can you be an attractive man on the beach in Japan, and thus attract other attractive people on said beach?
A: I've got one word to say to you, trunks and sunglasses. [That's two words — Ed.] Big sunnies are big for everyone this season, especially white frames. Speedos are off limits, unless you look like the guys in A&F ads. For skinny guys surfer boardies are perfect. Be wary of wide and short shorts — wide shorts on skinny legs equal skirt. For averagely built boys a loose fit would balance the torso by providing a waist, or Lycra trunks can draw attention below the waist, which is nice. For big and tall, Japan has millions of fashionable loose fitting summer shirts. On the bottom, stay away from stretchy.

Q: How about colour?
A: If your tan hasn't kicked in yet, stick with darker block colors and prints. Otherwise you'll look like a fluorescent tube. Once you're lovely and brown, the world is your oyster. Suck it up!

Q: What's hot this season?
A: The new CK trunks, white boy's briefs with that classic waist- band in black. And how cool are the new Paul Smith thongs (footwear) in his signature rainbow stripes? GAP's carrying stripy thongs too at the moment, and at more better prices.

Inspiring. Now be dazzled by the musings of an acclaimed model-slash-self-proclaimed bikini connoisseur, Janna Sharp.

Q: Staying attractive on a hot Summer's day, how?
A: Keep your face bare or try a tinted SPF moisturizer, shimmery shadow, lip gloss and bronzer. And ladies, leave the high heels at home, 'cause trudging through the sand in stilettos doesn't look as sexy as you think it does.

Q: Apparently not everyone's got a hot body — what say you for this poor minority?
A: Everyone can look gorgeous in swimwear. I think the best flaw hiders are a black one-piece or a tankini, and of course, sarongs, tunics and board shorts are always cute and offer more coverage. Or get into surfing and
wear a wetsuit. Don't be afraid to experiment. Mix and match bikini tops and bottoms by putting coordinated solids with prints or solids with solids. You can turn two bikinis into four.

Q: What's hot this season?
A: My favourite summer accessory is the anklet. Sexy, simple and screams island vacation, or 50baht Bangkok street vendor. Flowy tunic tops are especially in this season.

Q: Where to find a wonderfully priced bargain bikini?
A: For ¥3,000 bikinis try The Hot Box at Port Bazaar (outlet) in Tarumi. I noticed Sportsworld was also having a ¥3,000 sale and saw the same thing on the second floor of Center-Gai in Sannomiya. J Crew's good. If you want something a little classier, any of the department stores should do you right.

There you have it kids, get a department store to do you, or do yourself! Either way, you'll be done on the beach if you're not comfortable.

Text: Jared Olthof • Models: Janna & Tae • Photos: Edwin Cheung & Jared Olthof