The reason for the season
They
don’t do Crimbo here like they do Crimbo at home, but you
can still get stuffed one way or another. KS looks at where and
how (but not who with).
The popular myth in Western countries is that
Christmas Really Meant Something Once, and that only these days
have penance, selflessness and generosity given way to frenzied
commerciality and wild-eyed gift-hoarding.
Par for the course then, that Japan has, in a true burst of ingenuity
and innovation, skipped the whole penance and selflessness business
of the adopted holiday altogether and moved straight to the frenzied
commerciality. (Spirituality and penance, however, is not far
off, due to the New Years’ shrine pilgrimages most people
make.)
Moreover, the whole focus on giving presents
to people like “children” and “families”
seems to have been done away with: if current TV advertising is
any indication, Christmas Day in Japan is Couples’ Day,
and too bad for you if you don’t have a significant other
— or, at the very least, a staunch group of friends —
to share the holiday season with.
So, then, a few ways to celebrate with friends
and loved ones, presented — in an effort to inject more
spirituality into the proceedings — by Pope St. Gregory
the Great’s Seven Deadly Sins:
Lust
 Privacy
in a country as crowded as this one, while difficult, is not impossible
to come by: a 15-minute jaunt (around ¥1,500 for 1) in a wee
Ferris wheel carriage with your loved one of choice may be just
the thing to satiate those more salacious feelings this holiday
season. There are plenty of options in Kansai, too; the red monster
atop Hep 5 and the vertical wheel that fronts Don Quixote in Shinsaibashi,
for example, will both be lit and ready for customers on the 25th.
Greed
 High-end
hotels are all the holiday rage, of course: the Rhiga Royal Hotel,
the Hilton, the Ritz-Carlton and numerous other name-brand residences
around Osaka are offering reasonably priced awesomely expensive
room packages to spend your Christmas dollar on. If you can’t
manage to reserve a room at a ‘real’ hotel, keep in
mind Kansai’s first-come, first-served Love Hotels: they
do not, as a rule, take reservations, for reasons which can probably
be guessed at. (Prices start at ¥20,000.)
Wrath
 Roaring
apes! Fighting dinosaurs! Adrien Brody! Director Peter Jackson’s
The Lord of the Rings follow-up King Kong (¥1,800 for an adult
ticket) hits Kansai screens on Dec. 17th, just in time for the
holidays. The running time is a stiff, dinner-depriving 180 minutes,
so keep in mind that it is only frowned upon, rather than out-and-out
illegal, to bring food into local theaters.
Envy
 Sicken
your friends by showing off your tickets for an Ogawa Air Helicopter
Night Cruise around downtown Osaka (¥7,500). Helicopters tend
to be on the small side, of course, so consider that the novelty
of a Christmas activity like this may be lost on someone 1) afraid
of heights; 2) horrified of small spaces; 3) both.
Pride
 “Animals
such as Sea lion in Kaiyukan push the [Christmas] lighting switch,”
the Osaka aquarium’s website pleasantly — if grammatically
questionably — notes. While away the holiday hours watching
the whales, otters, penguins and always-crowd-pleasing Mambo fish
do their thing in the quasi-natural Kaiyukan environment. (One
adult ticket is ¥2,000.)
Sloth
 The
rustic, charming, astonishingly well-lit Santa Maria sailing boat
is up and running for slow, lazy Christmas cruises around Osaka
Harbor. Though the tab for a two-hour tour and full-course French
dinner is a hefty ¥12,000, the staff warn that the empty seats
are filling fast.
Gluttony
 In
the true spirit of the season, patrons can gorge themselves ill
at any of the many holiday feast locations in Kansai. Big spen-ders
might opt for the ‘Joyeux’ course at Shinsai-bashi
eatery Cristal de Jardin (¥6,000), while medium spenders may
spend a day with friends noshing on straw-berries and melted chocolates
(¥2,600 for the ‘Christmas Tea Set’) at The Lounge
in the Nankai Swissotel. Small spenders, of course, may try their
luck with KFC’s 10-piece Original Recipe Bucket (¥1,890),
unofficially known as the ‘Gaijin Christmas Special.’
Happy holidays.
• Ogawa-Air Helicopter Tours: 06-4804-1333
• Kaiyukan Aquarium: http://www.kaiyukan.com/eng/
• Cristal de Jardin: 06-6214-2771
• Swissotel Nankai, Osaka: http://osaka.swissotel.com/
• Santa Maria Cruise Ship: 06-6942-5511
Text: Jeff LO |
